Thursday, April 30, 2009

How I find Center

I find my center in photography. I shoot with a Sony Alpha a700. Why Sony? Because I had a bunch of memory sticks already and wanted to save a dime. Do I regret my purchase? Absolutely not! I love my Sony and am going to be getting the a900 in August (hopefully, if my budget holds up).

How do I find center taking pictures? The easiest way to explain it is because this is where I am naturally present. When I am taking pictures I am focused and only thinking about taking pictures.

How did I find out that photography brings me back to center? Through practice. I tried different things, walking, exercise, reading but thoughts came in. I realized that when taking pictures it captured my natural focus.

How do I use photography to find center when I am not taking pictures? I think about how I feel when I take pictures and try to capture that same focus. This is why it is called practice; I practice center while taking pictures, doing other things I try to obtain the same state.

Here are some samples. You can find more at

Monday, April 27, 2009

How do I know I am centered?

Am I present in the here and now or am I lost in thought?
Am I focused on the current or am I focused on the past or future?
Am I here, right now, looking through new eyes as if I opened them for the first time or am I working off or preconceived notions.
Am I quietly listening for God's will or am I forging my own path?

If I feel like I am swerving to the left, right, up, or down away from God's will I am not centered. If I am lost in thought intead of attentive to what I am doing, I am not centered.

If I am so focused on what I am doing I notice nothing else around me, I am not centered.

To be centered means to be clear, current, and present.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

More of a prayer

After reading my daily devotion this morning I spoke the prayer from the devotion.
Dear Lord Jesus, may I do all I can to help people avoid the devil's tourist trap of hell. Make me Your witness. In Your Name. Amen.
After praying I thought this isn't enough! When I have opportunities to witness I:
  1. Don't see them
  2. Chicken out
  3. Decide to talk about something else
  4. Don't want to and decide not to
What i realized is, when I pray these kinds of prayers to do the lord's will I don't really want what I am praying for. This prayer is a prayer that I think the Lord wants to hear so I pray it.

Here is the Holy Spirit inspired prayer I followed up with:

Dear Lord, please do more than that, please help to kindle a desire in my heart to be a witness, help rewrite the filter of my mind to see witnessing opportunities. Help me to have greater understanding to what witnessing is help me to want it and to live it. Dear Lord I love you and confess that I am sinful and want for this world, not you. Please lord fill me with a fire to do your will, help me to live in prayer and stay focused on your word, your will, what you want! Help me to want what you want, be who you want, and stay that way! Thank you for filling me with your spirit Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Thank God for Resistance.

Resistance is a sneaky enemy. When a bunch of work is in front of you I can guarantee that the one that you have the most resistance to doing is the one you probably should be doing. Resistance is evil and tries to make sure you are miserable, uncreative, and unproductive.

This is awesome!

huh? Why would I say the existence of an evil little enemy trying to stop you from completing the desires of your soul is awesome? Because you then know the exact best thing you should be doing! Work on the thing you have the most resistance on first and you are guaranteed a reward to your soul!

Monday, April 13, 2009

No expectations

I wise friend of mind told me, "every expectation holds built in resentment". Is this true? When I have a bad day, why is that? Is it because I am expectating the day tro be a certain way and it let's me down? That sounds good but how true is that?
Right now, for instance I am sitting behind the building on a break, generally these breaks are very relaxing for me; I blog, read, meditate, pray. The isolation for a few minutes gives me some peace and I can walk back into work refreshed but what if that break is interupted by weather, someone looking for me or something else. If I expected for this break to be a certain way I create an automatic resentment because I didn't get that time.
I think my answer is that expectations don't promote being present. If I am present throughout my day I can move through it and be relaxed through each event. Using the "mind like water" analogy I let each event disturb the pond but I let it return to peace on it's own, I don't try to force it to peace by trying to physically calm the water (an expectation) which ends up disturbing it even more.

My prayer right now,

Dear lord, please help me to be joyfull where I am planted and accept where I am, shed expectations and be present with your will.

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Monday, April 6, 2009

Series 1 Volume 1 2009

I started a new journal today and I would love to explain the feeling but I don't know if I could put it into words; I think you would have to be a journaler to understand. I open the pages of the new book and it is exciting, "What will I write?" "what will it's purpose be?"

Series 1 Volume 1 2009 is what I labeled it. Is there any significance to that? Nope; it is what came to mind right before I typed up a label on my label maker. I have hundreds of journals I have filled up over the years and they have different labels: Spirit, notebook, inventory, even Journey through Chaos and Rapture. I even have a bunch that I didn't label at all, my most recent notebook was red so it didn't need a name. This one is a large Moleskine standard ruled notebook and it happens to be named Series 1 Volume 1 2009; the next one might be Volume 2 or it might have a completely different name.

The first thing I wrote after dating and numbering the page (just in case I have to reference the page in other notes) was,

"What is series 1, volume 1?"

I wrote that I wasn't sure what it was going to be but I knew exactly what it wasn't going to be; a collection of random lists and junk. It also would not pertain to other work, it would not contain book notes, class notes, work notes, or project notes. I may write about those things in this notebook but it would not be a a book to bury random notes in. It would be more of an outlet, a place to empty my mind and keep it flowing like the stream I want it to be.

It would also not be a catolog of my day. I have written these kinds of journals before and they can be very rewarding but I didn't want to make a commitment that I didn't think I could keep. I can commit to having a notebook as an outlet and writing in it often but I wasn't willing to commit to a daily catolog, this seems like welcoming a battle I cannot win. I would commit to keeping the journal on me and keeping a GTD context in my system @journal that I could write about appropriate musings but not for project planning or writing (my book).

So by defining what it isn't I have defined what it is. A series of thoughts journaled regularly, an outlet for my feelings and higher level thoughts and a place to develop my writing from a different side of the brain. A place to live at 30,000 feet and higher

Please support my friend Tara in her effort to walk in the Breast Cancer 3 Day!

My good friend Tara is attempting to raise $2400 for the Susan G. Komen foundation in order to walk in the Breast Cancer 3 day in September. Please help her cause by donating whatever you can.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

letting go

Why is it so hard for us to let go of being in control of our lives? This is a tough one because as a Christian I can look at it logically and say "God is in control, God controls everything, and this life is short and I will spend eternity in heaven so everything is ok. His grace is enough for me and I can deal with that" but that isn't what I do at all.

What I do is hold onto control. I have anxiety, depression, stress and try as hard as I can to hold onto control. Why do I do this? Because I am sinful. As a sinful being I hold onto control. Sin is seperation from God and since I am naturally sinful I am always going to try do it myself.

What can I do?

* Pray - stay with God and live a repentant life with a focus on him
* Study - Stay in the word and let God speak to me
* Act - I can spread God's word and live a life as a Christian to bring people to him.

Can I do this on my own? No, I do it by his grace through faith he gives me. I can let go of control because God helps me to let go of control.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Meaning journal - finding meaning in being a couch potato.

Today I woke up and spent the morning staring at the TV. This definitely seemed meaningless; is there any meaning that can be seen in it. It was a nice way to wake up and it was relaxing. It meant something because I was able to watch a show that made me smile and see actors I enjoy watching which I thoroughly enjoy. I was also able to spend some time with the dogs and was inspired to take some pictures of the dogs. .Conclusion - even lounging around means something - it was productive because it produced relaxation, quality time with the dogs, entertainment and inspiration.
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Wednesday, April 1, 2009


There are several books in my life that have been life changing that I find worth sharing but here I am writing about two.

Getting Things Done - the Art of Stress Free Productivity is a big one. Why? Well it didn't come hust from the lessons and procedures in the book but came from the opportunities it has opened for me. The GTD methods saved my job and created networking opportunities to introduce me to some of my closest and most cherished friends.

Mastery by George Leonard npot only taught me a different way of thinking it also introduced me to the world of Martial Arts. Prior to Mastery I never really thought twice of the value of fighting disciplines but this book showed me that through working towards martial mastery you sharpen the mind as well, The centering and focusing techniques in this book are invaluable and the concept of thinking in terms of Mastery vs. Quick fix is essential to change the world.
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